In my last column, I told you about a Mother Tessa Bielecki's marvelous tape series called "Passion for God" - an introduction to "spousal prayer" in the tradition of St. Teresa of Avila.  Spousal prayer invites us to enter more and more deeply into union with Christ the Bridegroom as a member of the Church, his Bride.  But for this to become a lived experience, we must learn how to let go of all of our "God substitutes" and open our deepest desires for love to the One who alone can fulfill them.

The Greeks called that deep yearning for love eros.  As Pope Benedict wrote, "eros tends to rise 'in ecstasy' towards the Divine...; yet for this very reason it calls for a path of ascent, renunciation, purification and healing.  Concretely, what does this path of ascent and purification entail? ... Here we can find a first, important indication in the Song of Songs, an Old Testament book well known to the mystics" (Deus Caritas Est 5, 6).

The great mystics of the Church love the Song of Songs because it speaks of an experience that's near and dear to them - the experience of eros lived as "prayer." For prayer, as Pope Benedict put it, "is nothing other than becoming a longing for God" (Mary: The Church at the Source, p. 15).  When eros is lived as a longing for God, we have "spousal prayer."

In laying out his great pastoral "program" for the new millennium, John Paul II stressed the importance of such deep, intimate prayer: "Yes, dear brothers and sisters, our Christian communities must become genuine 'schools' of prayer where the meeting with Christ is expressed ... [in] ardent devotion until the heart truly 'falls in love.'" Indeed, we "have a duty," John Paul said, "to show to what depths the relationship with Christ can lead."  And to show these depths, he turned to mystics:

"The great mystical tradition of the Church ... shows how prayer can progress, as a genuine dialogue of love, to the point of rendering the person wholly possessed by the divine Beloved." - As an aside, I'd bet that the word "possessed" reminds you of demonic possession.  But possession by evil spirits is simply a diabolic mockery of what we are all called to: possession by the Holy Spirit, which means "vibrating at the Spirit's touch," as John Paul wrote.  Learning how to surrender to the divine in this way means learning how to enter into "spousal prayer."

This is "a journey totally sustained by grace," John Paul insisted.  At the same time it "demands an intense spiritual commitment and is no stranger to painful purifications (the 'dark night').  But it leads, in various possible ways, to the ineffable joy experienced by the mystics as 'nuptial union.'  How can we forget here, among the many shining examples, the teachings of St. John of the Cross and St. Teresa of Avila?" (Novo Millenio Ineunte 33).

Such deep, intimate prayer is not only reserved for those in a convent or a monastery.  It "would be wrong," John Paul said, "to think that ordinary Christians can be content with a shallow prayer that is unable to fill their whole life."  In fact, when we fail to enter into the depths of prayer, we are "not only mediocre Christians but 'Christians at risk' ... [of] succumbing to the allure of 'substitutes'" (Novo Millenio Ineunte 34).

Mother Tessa observes that one of the biggest "substitutes" on the market for intimacy with God is sex.  Sex is meant to be an icon - an earthly sign that points us to the heavenly reality of union with God.  But we so often treat it as an idol.  That is, we go to sex as if it were our ultimate fulfillment, as if it were God.  Don't we see this kind of idolatry everywhere in our media culture?

The way out of this trap for all of us - whether single, married, or consecrated celibate - is precisely the intimacy of spousal prayer.  If we lived spousal prayer to its depths, Mother Tessa observes, consecrated celibates would have their longings for love beautifully fulfilled in God rather than being prone to sexual frustration and bitterness; single people would be freed from a terribly destructive promiscuity; and married people would stop expecting their spouse to be God.

We have two choices as a culture, Mother Tessa believes: Mysticism or neurosis; sublimation of erotic desire or sexual chaos; spousal prayer or social upheaval.  In the end, she's absolutely right.  Oh, Lord, teach us to pray!